A difficult Question?

Before I tackle this ‘difficult question’ I want you to listen to this ‘difficult’ song.

Some weeks ago I enjoyed a robust conversation with some male friends of mine who we call “Old Codgers”…which is an Australian euphemism for “Happy old men” or some say “Coffin-dodgers.” lol

Many of us have been involved in full time pastoral or overseas ministry.

A question arose that we all had opinions about, but not all were  prepared to publish them on the internet! So they shall remain anonymous!

It was a difficult question which related to human conduct. The Bible calls it “SIN”…….and I hope I haven’t lost your interest right there!

To make it even a more difficult we asked ourselves the rhetorical question…

What would you do as a Christian, if a much-loved child or family member came home with their defacto or homesexual partner to sleep in your home?

Instinctively the differing personalities expressed their vociferous opinions, based on their christian values which they had held over a life time which had never before been challenged at such a personal level.

That week I posted the same question on social media network of Facebook and got a few interesting responses.

Interestingly few of my ministry colleagues on the net took to answering the question, preferring to remain anonymous! Which I guess puts the question in the too hard basket for many.

One friend did send me an email; “Wow!” he said “that is a difficult one to answer. I am not really qualified to write an article”.

However he did offer some opinion. “Defacto relationships: Personally I don’t think there is a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer.

If the relationship was new I would say ‘no.’ If they had been in a defacto relationship for some time and there were children I would treat them as a family.

Gays? I would probably say ‘no.’ I think we have to be responsible for the atmosphere and behaviour and attitudes in our own home.

I would be tough on blasphemy – drunkardness – violence – lewedness. – abuse.

What people do in their own home is there business.

What happens in my house is my business and it must represent my values. ‘As for me and my house we will serve the Lord’.

Does that mean I wouldn’t have these people in my house? No.

I would love them and treat them with the respect every human being needs and deserves so I am not ready to put anything in print until I can think it through.”

The conversation went on to say. “Just another thought on ‘Are there good sins and bad sins’?

I would say sexual sin is worse than a few others simply because Jesus gave it as an out for divorce. Matthew 19:9

To God it is all sin but murder will mess people up more than stealing a few dollars from them.. Just a thought!”

But what do you think Ps Fred? – For what it is worth the church ministry life has always been rife with ethical dilemmas of various kinds that require courage, empathy, and  sound doctrine. 

I guess on a personal level I have a strong aversion toward homosexuality & pedophilia.

As a Pastor I have seen & counselled with people struggling with the sin of homosexuality and sought to guide them to freedom. I have seen the spiritual, psychological and emotional damage that they have suffered.

Being compassionate by nature I perhaps would like to ‘live and let live’ but just like a judge who must abide by the ‘letter of the law’, so as “people of the Book” we are not free to make our own judgements. I think the Bible is clear.

My life experience in boarding school as a child in India and the real life abduction as a 13 year old was enough to warn me of its evil nature and create a natural aversion to these practises.

See my story:  The Insidious Nature of a Pedophile

One day after work, as a young 17 year old bank employee, I remember being accosted by a visiting financial Bank auditor who was a “Gay” and instinctively reacted in revulsion. As you can imagine I quickly gave “him” the short-shift and let him know I was not only ‘straight’ but a Christian.

This encounter further added to my revulsion of this predatory, unnatural, degrading practice and sent me looking into my Bible to see again what God said about it. Romans 1:26-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9.

A rudimentary reading of the scriptures describes it as an abomination but there is more. Genesis 19:1-13; Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13.

Many other sins are ‘abominable’ to God too, and for that matter the church historically has added its own!!!

I can remember my dear mother posing the question to me when she asked one day “Freddie will Jesus find you in the picture theatre at the time of the rapture?”

Betty jumped into the conversation at this point and added her bit.

She remembers the questions posed to her growing up in a pentecostal church.

“Am I Delilah if I wear lipstick? If I cut my hair is it the mark of the beast? ….lol.

Well, if we had such heavy stuff to deal with, give a thought to this generation who face the same-sex relationships agenda.

The aggressive argument posed by the “Gay” lobby that same sex relationship is another natural path of love, can be found on many fronts.

If the criterion is “love”, pedophiles have also claimed that they love their victim, and desire to make them happy, and not hurt them. Incestual sexual relationships of fathers and daughters , mothers and sons, …and it goes on!!!

The bigamist can claim the argument of love – as can an adulterer.

The fraudster can blame their out of control love for money, the liar can claim that they can’t help themselves, the kleptomaniac likewise – as also the raging temper.

Can we blame our genes for evil?

The light and darkness battle – the good and bad – Satan and Christ is the battleground of the earth.

Until a medically determined  homosexual gene is isolated and scientifically documented it remains nurture and choice and SIN.

All of these things are sin.

Are there good sins and bad sins? No!

The Apostle Paul seems convinced that same sex relationships are not natural. (excuse my crudeness – Anatomy provides a sewer for waste and hormones provide a clean safe passage for sperm).

Such relationships effect the concept of family – denying its continuance.

Children, by medical science to such unions, are denied their natural right of a mother and father.

There is no long term data yet available to see the effects on the future of these children.

The bullying that the gay lobby claim with deep emotion will certainly be part of these children’s lives. 

Now for my interaction with sinners; Firstly we are all sinners living in God’s forgiving grace.

The ‘difficult question’ is SIN, which is the bottom line of this debate.

A judgment of sin belongs to God, and my responsibility is to by love draw them into a salvation relationship with God, and so turn them from their sin.

This is a miracle!

As for the household and homosexual question posed I think my facebook friend Karen’s answer would gel with mine.”

Karen said “I think when someone comes into your house they need to respect your house rules. We have rules when our kids are at home – I don’t think any thing should change.

We love them but would not encourage the behaviour and if they love and respect you then there is no question.”

Betty continued “Pastors unfortunately have higher criteria. They are custodians of people in their care.

Because of the aggressive nature of the same sex lobbyists, and the apparent first sexual experience contagion, they cannot embrace same sex unions as normal nor allow practicing homosexuals to participate in church leadership.

With the privilege of not having to write an official church statement on the matter she adds, “as to what they should do about it – I have no idea! They will have to ask God!”.  

For those readers who are in Church Leadership positions, here is some material worth considering written by Ps. Mark Conner. 

See – A Conversation about Homosexuality

In conclusion, may I suggest that in contemplation you consider your view about this difficult question because it affects us all.


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3 Responses to “A difficult Question?”

  1. George Ferricks Says:

    Thanx Pastor Fred. We all have our own bias’ towards or against this subject but you are right – Our place is to love, not to judge. It is difficult sometimes not to judge or to be seen to as judging. Wish it were easier.

  2. Holdsworth Says:

    Dear Fred and Betty,
    Really enjoyed both your views on this subject. Have shared with Dad who agrees also. Well said. So glad for those years that you loved and cared for us.MISS you both.xxoo

  3. Kerrie Price Says:

    Thank you Fred, for the wise and thoughtful words. We face many moral dilemmas in life, and need the wisdom of the Word and the Holy Spirit to help us make tough choices. We love the sinner, whilst hating the sin, and though we are to love, rather than judge, yet we must protect the people in our care and the atmosphere in our homes, from ungodly behaviours and evil interference.

    I also think it is interesting that both Christians and non-Christians get on the band-wagon of ‘don’t judge’, yet the Bible makes it clear that there are matters we are to judge concerning right and wrong.
    1 Cor. 6:1-3. The point is that we are to judge (discern) with a right heart and not a critical spirit.

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