What’s in a Name?

Like many others I am trying to get my head around the social debate that involves all of Australians at this time in our national history.

I am a “mercy” person by nature and am moved at the stories of emotional pain and even suicide of some of our vulnerable people.

Fluidity in sexual identity is a confusion that is not in my opinion going to heal the pain that a small percentage of people are feeling.

For many years of my very young life I wanted with all my heart to have brown skin.

You see those years were lived with Islanders and First Nation people who I saw as having it all.

I loved their laughter, their guitars, their singing. their big families, their white bread and freshly caught fish, and hot chips and soft drink on Saturday night.

I hated to be kept from “secrets” and having names like “ migiloo” and “white cloud.”

No matter how much I wanted brown skin it was not to be.

I recently heard USA doctors discussing young patients who wanted to have their legs cut off so that they could be amputees and go to school in wheelchairs.

Also I heard of children who were mutilating themselves so that they could be blind.

A comparison could be made of the tragedy of young people thinking they were fat when in actuality they were starving themselves to skin and bone and death.

Who remembers the tragedy of the exposing of the so-called “hidden memories” episode that caused so much pain in families some years ago? The mind plays weird tricks some times.

Life doesn’t always give us what we want and fortunately for me, my parents taught me to accept, and be proud and content, and do the very best with who I was.

When a child is born with a physical body that is either male or female and all the hormones etc. that go with that, then to have a mindset that refuses to accept that reality surely is not a physical problem but a mental state.

Perhaps the suicide numbers connected to LGBT etc. need loving care and counseling for a mental condition that should be treated rather than accepted as normal behavior that should be celebrated.

I know of a very handsome healthy looking young male soldier who has documented the pain of gender confusion and changed.

I hope with all my heart that change has brought the freedom she longed for.

However what I see is a masculine looking woman with a funny voice and a hairline that is showing signs of recession.

I would like to see the experiment of sex change documented in Australia for at least twenty years before I embrace any healing virtue or fulfillment and happiness in the process.

I am concerned that we as a people  are required to call a boy a girl or a girl a boy. This to me personally is an untruth.

I believe that some professionals already doubt sex change as a cure. We are nowhere near letting this idea loose on our little children.

I abhor bullying. Most kids are bullied.

Over and over again I hear of people who tell their story, and have the last laugh on the bully.

I say to anyone being bullied, stand tall, do your best, and prove the bullies wrong.

It usually happens that way.

There is no need to mutilate a body to do what one wants to do.

Careers are fluid, dress is fluid, friendships are fluid, and society is accepting relationships as fluid.

I do however object to this gender fluidity and same sex unions impinging on what is an established status of human identity by most peoples of the world; that marriage is a union between a man and a woman.

To change that makes the status of every marriage ambiguous.

Every time the question is posed, ”are you married?” and the box is ticked or the question answered ”yes” that question will forever have to be followed up with another question.

What kind of marriage? It is a question that will always follow as behaviors need to be adjusted for S.S marriage.

A doctor will need to know and follow special implications; a schoolteacher will speak differently to a same sex family.

She/he can hardly hand a note to a child in a two women family saying, “here’s a note for your dad – all the men are having a meeting to discuss digging the foundation for the new classroom.”

She/he will want to know that that is not appropriate to the child.

Should I go on a cruise with my cousin and on the registration entry we both tick the box “married” and our husbands are on a camping fishing trip and also tick the box “married” when they enroll for the trip.

The general assumption will be that we are two same sex couples and if there were an accident no one would be concerned with the immediacy of finding a husband or wife.

No, same sex union is not a marriage.

Society has accepted single mothers and single fathers and they stand tall in calling themselves single parents.

Society has embraced the term “partner “ and “my partner” is spoken and accepted without shame.

I do not wish to tell people how to live their lives. Most societies accept free will as part of the human identity.

Should couples wish to live in a same sex union that is a choice that they make, that is both recognized and legal.

Why is it necessary to make such an unnecessary heavy-handed demand on the majority?

Impinging on the centuries old established meaning of marriage is hurtful to so many thousands of people, and once again I say, is quite unnecessary.

Same Sex unions are “teaming” with creative and “arty” people and I ask of them,” why don’t you surprise us with a unique title for your particular union?”

One can’t take someone’s recipe and call it their own, or a song, or a speech – Plagiarism is not allowed.

My 70 year old dictionary defines marriage as a union between a man and woman and gender is male, female or neuter.

I am aware of the creative new words of modernity and feel  a creative title for a SS union can be found.

Please be creative and find a new genre with new unique celebrations for unions that are same sex, and leave what is established alone.

The  add-on effects of redefining marriage frightens me.

Yes or No does not present to the voters the final draft of the Amended Marriage Act that will be voted on in parliament.

Even now the word “gender” is being purported to be in the mix.

With the documentation of hundreds of fluid genders, most of which are quite out of the understanding of myself and most of my readers, this whole issue presents to me a frightening “Pandora’s box,” the pervading invasion of which will inflict its sting on me, my grand children, and beyond.

With love,


PS; Please find a new genre for unions that are Same Sex, and leave what is established alone.

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One Response to “What’s in a Name?”

  1. Pauline Says:

    A well written article Betty. They are my thoughts also just as I’ve communicated on Facebook etc.
    Yes, I believe it would be far more appropriate to find a new genre for unions that are Same Sex and for the Marriage Act To be left alone.
    May God overrule in this matter!

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